it's been a while

I understand it's been a while since I've last updated.  I've somewhat occupied myself with projects to do/freelance for creative gigs on Craigslist.  I've also joined a gym, so that's taken a lot of my free time on weekdays when I get the chance to actually go.

But, this blog isn't an update of where I've been & of all the adventures I ventured off to.

I just don't know anymore.  I feel I'm at the end, but I know I shouldn't let this stop me dead in my tracks.  It's nothing big, nor that much of an importance.  At least it shouldn't be anyhow.  I'm just tired.  Tired of trying.  Tired of waiting.  Tired of everything going on that I want to forget about it.  I want it to go away with just the thought of it, or a blink from my eye.  On the other end, though, I don't want it to end.  I don't want it to seem like a waste & forget it all.  I don't want to be something that has been & will never be.   I always feel like I'm running in circles & that I'm not going anywhere in life.  But, sometimes that's not always the solution for people.  To stop cold turkey.  Completely shut it out.  Maybe I care too much.  It's in my nature to be that way.  I wish things could finally go my way because damn it I deserve it!  This year has been one of my worst so why can't I finally be happy like everyone else?

I wish these were better times where things could be the way they should be.