it's been a while

I understand it's been a while since I've last updated.  I've somewhat occupied myself with projects to do/freelance for creative gigs on Craigslist.  I've also joined a gym, so that's taken a lot of my free time on weekdays when I get the chance to actually go.

But, this blog isn't an update of where I've been & of all the adventures I ventured off to.

I just don't know anymore.  I feel I'm at the end, but I know I shouldn't let this stop me dead in my tracks.  It's nothing big, nor that much of an importance.  At least it shouldn't be anyhow.  I'm just tired.  Tired of trying.  Tired of waiting.  Tired of everything going on that I want to forget about it.  I want it to go away with just the thought of it, or a blink from my eye.  On the other end, though, I don't want it to end.  I don't want it to seem like a waste & forget it all.  I don't want to be something that has been & will never be.   I always feel like I'm running in circles & that I'm not going anywhere in life.  But, sometimes that's not always the solution for people.  To stop cold turkey.  Completely shut it out.  Maybe I care too much.  It's in my nature to be that way.  I wish things could finally go my way because damn it I deserve it!  This year has been one of my worst so why can't I finally be happy like everyone else?

I wish these were better times where things could be the way they should be.

12:34

My hair only looks hot after a good ol' workout from the gym.  Too bad I don't have a picture to show it =(  There's always tomorrow, or well today.

Am I not good enough, or am I too good for anything (not trying to sound arrogant or anything... this is more like one of those rhetorical questions I wish there was an answer for)?  I've been asking myself this for many months now & I just don't know.  I've always patiently waited for things to come my way, & eventually it has.  I'm just tired of waiting so long for it to happen.

My iPod was randomly shuffling through songs as I drove home from work & Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares To You" played.  Memories memories memories flashed through my mind.  Nostalgia suddenly set in.  I'm glad I had my workout at the gym to snap me out of it.  I think if my mind keeps up with doing this to myself I'll end up being either super fit, underweight, or an exercise junkie.

I finally created a sign/logo for Janelle's boyfriend's nephew's cafe.  It only took me around a hour to develop, but I kept messing around with the colors & placement of words and such that I was indecisive to come up with a final design.  Hopefully this will be suffice.

I miss designing.  Especially designing with an elaborate concept in mind.  Sometimes I still imagine how it would be like working for a design or advertising agency of sorts.  I do like the apparel side of designing too, but I'm not sure how long I would want to stick with this.  I have many dreams of what I still want to do.  I just hope I'll be able to live them out.

I know I haven't kept up with my daily nostalgic pictures, but hopefully this one will make up for it:

Nostalgic Pic#5 - Volunteering as a medical victim at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Richmond, VA circa 2006.  I did this a few months prior to this picture & got compensated $50.  I received a letter in the mail asking if I'd like to volunteer & be compensated once again, so I decided to & invited a few friends along for the fun!  I'm still upset everyone except I didn't get my compensation to this day.