why?

Ever since I moved back to Virginia Beach from Richmond, my face has broken out in pimples.  Gross, right?  Well, I think this is the worst my face has ever been.  Everyday I find a new pimple & I don't know what to do.  I mean I usually clean my face twice a day & I barely touch my face since hands carry germs.  Ugh, I feel like I might have to do ProActiv or use that Clean & Clear acne stuff.  My face has never been like this.  It was so smooth & flawless & I didn't have to keep up with it that much.  It's like everyday I look in the mirror, boom!  A new pimple =(  Maybe it's my hormones... maybe it's stress.  Whatever it is, I wish it'd go away because I feel like I'm getting uglier & uglier by the minute.

another lonely night

So, I'm sitting at Barnes & Nobles right now as I type this sentence out.  Out of nowhere this lady with two hyperactive, yet cute children (both asking for cookies) asks if I have Internet on my laptop & I tell her that I do.  She then asks if she could use it to show something to her husband in exchange for free coffee.  Being a good samaritan & getting something good out of it?  Why heck yes!  Of course my computer was lagging a bit, and right before she gets to showing her husband whatever it was she was showing him my laptop shuts off due to my battery being totally drained.  I told her that I was sorry about my battery & that all I would have to do is just plug it in, & she asked what coffee I wanted.  After having to reboot my computer & almost having my web browser started up again, she comes back to me and says that once they had my drink ready to just pick it up.  I told her that she would have to log in again, but she just insisted it was ok & that she just wanted to prove a point to her husband.  This story was probably pointless, but I'm just glad I got free coffee out of it, since it's freezing cold in here & I'm already look like I'm dressed warm.

Anyways, my two hours of Internet for 3.99 is about to end in 30 minutes.  Until then...

choke

I just saw the movie, Choke, & I enjoyed it.  Of course it's not as great as the book, but then again it's been a year or two since I last read Chuck Palaniuk's novel, so I don't know if its visual aid interpreted the content well within the novel.  I'm hoping to reread it again once I get it back from a friend who is currently borrowing it.

Speaking of books, I finally finished reading Twilight & am currently reading its sequel, New Moon.  It's too early to exactly say how I feel about Twilight, since it's probably best to finish reading the entire series, but I must say I do like it so far.  However, reading New Moon is somewhat of a relief for me.  It was exciting to read about Bella's experiences because (like everyone else) it was like going through the motions of our own first love experiences all over again.  It felt like nostalgia, which was good, but a bit horrible for me since I can somewhat still feel that pain of when our love ended.  I believe reading this sequel might be the turning point of my love life... maybe.

I'm contemplating about participating in the Look Alive Project & finally registering for the Susan G. Komen 5K marathon this week.  I need to stop procrastinating & start making a change in my life.  This may not be that much of a change, but if I want that something big to happen in my life then I have to do something.  Let's hope this all goes as planned.

Random Thought:

Books & movies aren't real, yet I always seem to relate myself to characters.  I do this so much that I sometimes believe I suffer from the same issues as they do & end up thinking I am them.  I need to stop thinking like this.

Music that inspired this blog:

Radiohead//In Rainbows

define me, oh define me!

I've received a lot of "sorries" today.  I feel I try too hard to make things happen.  I don't understand why it's always like this on unplanned weekends.  For once I'd like to be the one someone wants to hang out with.  Am I just overanalyzing things again?  I mean, I think I'm an unique enough person to spend time with.  I feel everyone else overlooks that.  I always wonder what my place is on Earth.  I feel I'm only interesting the first few days or weeks a person meets me, but then after that I'm nothing.  I sometimes think if I disappeared no one would even notice.

Everything happens for a reason.  Maybe, but what does this all mean?  When I go through these days where I hate myself & feel no one cares... what does it all mean?  I guess things will finally happen with all this wait, but fuck!  I'm tired of waiting.  Something needs to happen now!

rawr, i'm a allosaurus dinosaur!

I love Thao Nguyen, and seeing this video makes me wanna be cool like her:

Thao Nguyen & The Get Down Stay Down - Swimming Pools

Anyways, I want to be a dinosaur for Halloween.  I've contemplated this for some time now (ever since May) & I would be an Alysaurus -Rex (Allosaurus+T-Rex).  We'll see how it goes.  

I need to draw something, but I don't know what.  I've had impulses to create something, but I just don't know where to start.  Motivation needs to come to me now.