untitled

As I sit here at work listening to The Smiths & attempting to design another shirt, I find myself at ease.  Not necessarily at peace, but just calm.  My horoscope, as usual, is correct.  Despite everything going on around me, I can sense everything is somewhat at a standstill.  I'm not sure as to what it is I have all my energies at a halt for, but whatever it is I hope it gets me to a point in my life where I'll have everything I've deserved & that I am satisfied.  This sounds like I'm talking about the end of the world.  Is it?  It seems as if we've come across an unknown frontier.

The future is coming.  Are you ready for it?  I think I'm just about ready to embrace it.

the times they are a changin'

**Disclaimer: The following blog is composed of raw opinions that shouldn't be taken serious, but most definitely considered. Apologies for the random rambling in advance**

Sorry it's been a while since I've last posted a blog. Surprisingly, my life has been busy even though it's more of my social life that's got me occupied, & not work or side projects I've yet to start/complete.

Things have started to look up for me lately. Well, actually it hasn't been that recent. More like a month or so ago. I've been able to look at the world at different perspectives & begun to understand that there's more out there in the world no matter how difficult the struggles you're going through can be. Although I have been good in keeping my thoughts positive & not let negativity ruin them, today was a different story.

Maybe it was the people around me, the change in the weather, or maybe there's no real reason at all, but today felt like a day where I could just leave it all. Suicidal or not? Sounds a bit like it, but honestly I have no reason to take my own life. I have a good job, friends & family that love me & definitely a lot more opportunities coming in my way. Take it however you may, I just feel so... asldkf;jasl;fj;alsjf;ajflaj. There's actually no specific word to pin it, but maybe explaining how I feel can help define it.

You know the feeling you get when you just don't care anymore? Not because you're sad, mad, depressed, etc. Or the feeling that sometimes it's better to be alone or better off without this & that because, really, you ARE better than whatever it is you're better than? I'm not sure if all of this is making sense, but that's just how I feel. It's not really towards a particular person or thing, or a situation of that matter. It's literally just how I feel. Maybe the word I'm looking for is a word synonymous to indifferent. Or maybe that is the word I'm looking for.

I feel like wandering for miles around the Earth. Taking in the sights & sounds, & appreciating the little details that entail this journey of life. I think this is just what I need. To get out of where I am & to expand my mind with what else makes this the world the way it is. Is this what a quarter-century life crisis is? Or am I starting to believe that there is no hope for society & that is why we are all so fixated on pop culture & its trends? I don't know. Sometimes I think no one ever really knows what I'm saying or thinking & I think it's sad. I wish people would see how much more there is out there because then I'd have someone else to talk about philosophical things & know that life isn't so predictable. I mean, I'm no revolutionist or saint with the way I'm talking about what I'm talking about because I definitely find myself indulging in pop culture trends, but hey! I'm only human.

I seriously think I just need a vacation...

Life may be predictable 99% of the time, but it's that 1% that makes you wonder why that is & most definitely is the reason why.

what is happiness?

**Disclaimer:  This isn't a fact.  It's merely a theory.  Hope you enjoy!**

About a little over five years ago, a reporter for the 757 column of the Virginian Pilot approached me when I was with my brother at the former Relative Theory records store in Norfolk, VA.  She was asking random cool kids in the store what their definition of happiness was.  Surprisingly, she approached me & asked me what I thought the meaning was.  This was hard.  I pondered for a second & being the naive youth I was simply stated:  "being loved."  At the time, everything had fallen into place in my life & I was in love.  Little do I know now, this was wrong.

Don't get me wrong.  Love is a many splendrous thing.  However, love can be complicated & there are more emotions that come with it besides happiness.  Tonight was one of those nights where I had an epiphany.  Well, I don't think I just realized it at that moment, but I damn well understood it now.  Happiness just isn't being in love or loved.  It's not just having everything in your life fall into place.  It's those small details in life that is happiness.  Think about it.  For me, playing my iPod on shuffle while driving in my car & it so happens all the songs it plays are the perfect songs that play at those exact moments.  Or, finding a random dollar bill in your pocket of something you haven't worn in a while.  Even being there for a friend or family member when you least expect it & the joy you feel just making their day better when you had no intentions of it.  To me, that is happiness.  The minor things in life that we all take for granted.  If only I had known back then what I do now.  I think I'd be a very well-rounded person ahead of her time.

I don't know all the answers in life, but I do know the lessons that come out of it.

random

Sometimes when I'm at work, there tends to be a lot of downtime & moments where I'll be bored, or just try to design something in general. Moments like yesterday got me thinking and this is what I created when I got tired from designing:

Other times when i'm at work just checking my email, I'll get mail from Salemail telling me what brands I like, or might be interested in that are having sales. I hate it because it makes me wanna buy things I don't need, or might, but just isn't the right time to buy it.  It's times like these when I wish a ridiculous amount of money would fall onto my lap out of nowhere.

Then when still at work, there's an email like this that makes me wanna just go, or move to New York to indulge in the good & awesomeness of this store:

Sigh, I really love it when I get links to videos or websites from my coworkers at work. But seeing this link my coworker sent me made me wanna sell/trade in my Canon Rebel XTi for this bad boy right here. It's basically like a super duper upgrade of the XTi mixed in with the 5D Mark II. Yes, that means beautiful quality photos & bomb ass videography.

Can anyone help a homie out, please? I'll love you forever! *Smiles*

love at first sight

**Disclaimer:  The following blog might make me seem like a stalker, but I assure you I'm not.  Just in awe, that's all.  Enjoy!**

I think I've died & gone to heaven because I just saw the love of my life click before my eyes.  So, I'm addicted to lookbook & I was just perusing thru the hottest hyped styles to begin my work day.  To my surprise this cutie pie from the west side caught my eye.  Artistic, stylish & musically inclined.  Has all of my wishes come true?  Yes!  I know this may be an obsession & nothing will ever come out of it, but I can stare & dream, right?  And stare & dream all I want is what I'll do.