The weekend is ending & although I do enjoy my time to relax & socialize with friends, I'm eager to go back to work. Weekends aren't usually that special to me. Most of the time I find myself at home while the rest of my family is out & about. I mean this isn't that bad since I get to focus on me & have downtime, but sometimes I feel kind of alone & separate from whatever world it is I'm living. I don't know. I usually make the effort to do things with friends & I'm starting to get tired of it. I wish the same was given to me in return. And once again, this is the reason why I don't like the weekends... it makes me think too much & overanalyze things (especially when I'm alone).
Anyways, I'm dreading for my birthday to come. Why? I don't know. It's not so much the thought of turning a year older, but more of the thought that it will be my birthday. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but that's how I feel. I don't really care that it will be my birthday. That sounds so depressing, & a bit pessimistic, but it's just another day. This may sound a bit contradicting too since I did plan to have dinner on my birthday, but I figured since this will be the first time in a while since I've had my birthday back home I should do something for it.
Random Thoughts:
I've been pretending & tricking myself to think things are ok, but I know they're not. I want things to be ok, but it's hard trying. I miss doing art & being more creative. I've lost my motivation & don't know where to start. I've been reading & it's got me thinking in a fantasy. Music has been my outlet, & I don't know what'd I do without my iPod. I think too much & I don't know how to stop. I wish I could move on already...
Music that inspired this blog:
These songs were actually from my Random Mix playlist:
Thao Nguyen//Beat (Health, Life & Fire)
The Church//Under the Milky Way
Tegan & Sara//Walking With A Ghost
M83//We Own the Sky
The Cure//The Walk
My American Heart//All My Friends
Echo & The Bunnymen//The Killing Moon
The Shins//Caring is Creepy
Cut Copy//Nobody Lost, Nobody Found
Yeah Yeah Yeahs//Turn Into
Radiohead//Reckoner
Santogold//Shove It (Feat. Spank Rock)
New Order//Age Of Consent